Thursday, September 23, 2010

New Day..New Perspective

I was wanting to write in my journal tonight, but then I realized I didn't have it with me since we're at the hospital.  I know people probably don't even read this, and if they do they probably don't really care. lol But it makes my day seem like it was worth something if I document it. So I'm just going to blabber on and on if you care to read....  

Today Brandon had surgery (yes, another one) and the surgeon is pretty confident that he "fixed" some of Brandon's problems. We have been praying nonstop since I was 3 months pregnant for some relief and comfort on our part, and for Brandon to be healed. Well it's been about 16 months since the day we found out there was something wrong, and Brandon has yet to be fully healed. I want to have faith, and I do have faith that this will be our last hurdle to cross, but I don't want to be disappointed later on down the road when something goes wrong. I feel like this whole crisis has been such a mind game.. Do I have enough faith? Do I not? Is that why things aren't better yet? But then I think about so many people who have it WAY worse than Brandon and it makes me feel like a small, insensitive person for even complaining. However, trials are trials. What may be a huge trial for one person may be a small trial for someone else. It's all about what an individual can handle and what God wants for them at this time in their life. 

I feel like the lesson God has in store for me is PATIENCE...and we all know that's something I need to work on. If you didn't know that, now you do. lol Anyway, in all this rambling what I'm trying to say is that there have been a few key things that have gotten me through this last year. 1) My testimony 2) My family 3) Prayer 4) Faith/Hope 5) Patience/Endurance. But the key thing is the third, prayer. If anything has changed for me in the past 2 years it's been my testimony of prayer. I used to be a loser with my prayers...repeating the same thing over and over every single day. And then Brandon happened, and with each day my testimony of prayer has grown enormously. I used to think that God didn't hear my prayers, or maybe he did and just didn't feel like answering me. In fact I sometimes thought that way up until just about a month ago. Some pretty amazing things have come to pass since then. I know prayer is real. I know that with all of my heart. I know God hears us and whether we believe it or not, He has His own way with answering us. My prayers were answered this month.. and I'm not saying Brandon is cured by any means.. but God listened, and He answered. My testimony of prayer cannot be broken now because of the strong reminder I had this month. I am so grateful that we have such a loving and merciful God. I got to the point where I was so broken down that God helped ease my burdens.. maybe it's not forever, in fact I know it's not, but at least He helped pick me up this week. I am very, very grateful for that. I needed some hope in my life. I was reminded by all of this as I was reading this scripture tonight. James 5:11 Behold, we count them ahappy which bendure. Ye have heard of the patience of cJob, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very dpitiful, and of tender emercy. 13: Is any among you aafflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms. 

Anyway.. I'm done rambling.. I'm just so grateful to have Brandon and Michael in my life. I'm feeling very grateful tonight. =)

6 comments:

Heidi said...

Katie--so sweet! What a powerful testimony. And I can so relate. I remember a time in my life when I knew the Lord was pruning me, pruning me, PRUNING ME, and I thought I would just die if it didn't stop (b/c over-pruning can happen) but the Lord knew what He was doing and when to stop and all of that. It's hard.

We are so glad to hear that things went well yesterday--we all love him so much!

Jenna said...

I'm very glad that his surgey went well. The Lord answers us in mysterious ways and sometimes it just takes patience and an understanding of how to feel the spirit to know he is there and listening. i can relate in that sense. we all go through trials and its so sad that some are more bigger than others. i hope your faith keeps getting stronger and stronger! you're a great mother!

Daniel & Meghann said...

Katie I hope you know how much I love and care for you. You are such a great mother and you, Brandon and Mike are always in my prayers. Love you :)

The Nelsons said...

You sweet sweet girl. Hope all continues to improve and that you know how many people love you!

amoreanimatedlife said...

Thanks guys! I have the best friends and family I could ever ask for! =)

Alexander Russell said...

Hi Katie!

Thanks for the pictures and candy! Those pictures were the best thing I've gotten. You're the best sister I could ever ask for!
I love you!